Farewells

One of the most useful tools I have ever received as one who has made many cross-cultural transitions is the idea of building your RAFT before you leave a place: Reconciliation, Affirmation, Farewells, and Thinking ahead. Saying farewell has been an especially important part of closure for me. And so before I started dismantling our house to pack in the container, I took pictures of each room. We have lived longer and had more memories in this house than any other of our married life. As I walked through and around the house our last day in Cochabamba and plucked one last gardenia flower from the bush to press in my Bible, the walls practically echoed with all the memories. Laughter... tears... frustration... desperation... joy... birthdays... lazy family days... tea parties... sister fun... games... wrestling on the living room carpet... movies and popcorn... holidays and family visits... church and team fellowships... coffee and early morning Bible reading on the back porch... family meals... swinging... wading pools and sand boxes... sleep overs... barbecues... late night discussions in front of the heater... work and play... peace... and life. I thank God for this home and will always treasure the memories it holds.

Eliana's 4th Birthday

We celebrated Eliana's 4th birthday a little late this last year due to the craziness of family camp and the fact that we were saying goodbye to our teammates, the Bulls, right around that same time.

She chose to have a 'ballerina' party (she is really into ballerinas right now!) and wanted to invite all her little girlfriends from school. We kept it simple, with a few musical games and homemade tutus as party favors. But all the work in the midst of packing a container is SO worth it, when your little girl looks at you and tells you thank you for her cake and decorations! And the extra treat was that Jenny, Zion, and Mia got to celebrate with us :) Thanks to Jenny for the special birthday hair-do!

Happy Birthday, Eliana! I am so blessed to be your mommy! Blessed by your sweet, kind, and loving spirit... your nurturing attitude... your careful deliberateness... your love for God and for singing... your dainty way of being... your amazing way of entertaining and being happy with yourself. You are very special and I know He has great plans for your life!

Family Camp 2010

Every last weekend of October or first weekend in November for the past 4 years, the Cochabamba Centro church has hosted a national family camp for the churches around Bolivia. This year was no different. Around 80 members from 4 different churches met together for a time of fellowship at a mountainous campsite near a lake about an hour from Cochabamba.


Josh and I and the girls drove up the night before the camp to help get things set up, and as we have done the last 2 years, we camped out in our tent instead of in a cabin. The difference this year is that it rained and was cold almost the whole time! And although our tent held up well, this 4 month pregnant woman was ready to get back to my bed and bathroom and stop traipsing through the rain to the potty.


Ken Hines, former missionary to Bolivia, was our guest speaker, and gave an excellent series of lessons on "How to bear with someone you just can't stand." There were some excellent thoughts on forgiveness and reconciliation that were very beneficial for many churches.




There was also the usual time of fellowship over meals, sports, games and ice-breakers, and singing.









We also had our usual Bible classes for the kids during the class sessions. Here are our children!

In Retrospect

I have not done a very good job of blogging over the last few months.

Honestly, it has been too difficult. There have been too many other things going on. But, in reality, it has been too difficult to find the initiative to sit down and write when there are so many different emotions and events to process through. Too much is fresh and raw. I haven't had the ability. I have felt like in some ways that I am in 'survival mode'.

These last few weeks at my parents' house have been what I have needed. A 'safe' space to rest and recuperate between lives so it seems. To be quite honest, although I have done some crying and some thinking... mostly I have just 'been'. I have done all the normal things that every mother does... Christmas preparations, laundry, cleaning, shopping, establishing routine for my children in another environment, some cooking... and some things that not every mother does... like homeschooling. I have also had time to do some things that I haven't had time to do in a long time. Like more consistency in my daily time with the Lord. Or reading a novel for enjoyment. Or watching Ladies Number One Detective Agency shows with my mother. Not that life has been boring... how can it be with 3 kids and with the daily drama of moving from one 3rd world country to another? But more on that later.

This last week I have decided to print the first 5 years of my blog as a book. It seems like a natural time. This has been a nostalgic process for me as I've been preparing and editing it. I have been more 'homesick' (if I even dare use that word, it has so many confusing connotations to me) for Bolivia in the past week than I have been since we left. It started when we were sitting in the Rainforest Cafe in Chicago last week and I heard a recording of a 'jungle' bird that sounded like one we heard frequently in Bolivia. Sounds silly, I know, but I miss hearing birds. And then sitting in the Ecuadorian consulate listening to the hum of Spanish speakers around me. And then as I look back over entries and pictures I have made over the last 5 years, the feeling has compounded. I miss friends and teammates, and church family, and yes, even life (although I will not be so dishonest as to say I miss all aspects of life!).

All of this is to say that I am going to be making some blog entries... in retrospect. Because of the lack of time before we left Cochabamba (as a result of all of the preparations to leave), it seems there are some important entries missing from the last few weeks of our life in Cochabamba. I would feel like I was cheating myself and my blog book if I didn't go back and post about them. And probably somewhere in midst of all these blogs, I will process a little bit on paper my feelings surrounding the drama of this international move.

So let the retrospection begin.

Do not fear

Heaven

I have lived a large portion of my life in 3 countries...

18 years in Kenya...
8 years in the USA...
5 years in Bolivia...

It's a good thing that God makes our hearts with a large capacity to love...
because I feel like I have left a part of my heart planted in each place.

Bolivia will always hold a special place in my heart...
Here is where 2 of my children have been born...
Where I will treasure the babyhood memories.
The only 'home' they have known.
Where we have developed our family.

We have experienced a lifetime with our brothers and sisters here.
As I sat in our farewell dinner last night and looked with love at the faces around the room...
It was a joy to see how far we have walked together.

We have overcome obstacles.... and stumbled.
We have grown in faith.... and learned lessons... sometimes the hard way.
We have loved and fellowshipped... and had to resolve conflict.
We have learned and studied the Word together.... encouraged and rebuked one another.
We have experienced births and baptisms, birthdays, holidays, retreats, graduations, farewells and hellos, sickness...
even deaths.

I have been honored to share these experiences with my beautiful Bolivian family.

When people think of heaven, different images come to mind.
Angels, a golden city, the throne of God...
When I think of heaven, I think of faces.
I see the faces of my beloved brothers and sisters that I have been privileged to know from around the world...
Together at last in one place...
Surrounding the throne of God...
Praising Him with one voice.

Where there will be no more tears...
No more death...
No more pain...
No more goodbyes.

Home at last.

Thanksgiving

In Josh's family, they have the tradition of writing a Thanksgiving Day psalm and sharing it with the family. Here is mine...

I lift up my eyes to the hills. Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Even though it seems everything is changing,
the very foundations of our lives uprooted...
Yet will I trust Him. I will praise Him for His faithfulness.
He holds the future in His hands.

Even though our family is shaken by the fragility of health,
the touch of cancer too close for comfort...
Yet will I trust Him. I will praise Him for His faithfulness.
He holds our lives and health in His hands.

Even though this baby came at an unexpected time of transition,
making this mother wonder and worry at the details...
Yet will I trust Him. I will praise Him for His faithfulness.
He holds the plan for this little life in His hands.

Even though leaving the future of these people, this place, this work
that we have come to love is so difficult...
Yet will I trust Him. I will praise Him for His faithfulness.
He holds this body of believers in His hands. He will complete it.

As the mountains surround [us]
So the Lord surrounds his people, both now and forevermore.


View from our backyard of the mountains on Thanksgiving morning 2010

Top Ten (well, 11) Pics/Experiences from the CCC Conference in Brazil

I can't even begin to describe the blessing this week was in my life. It was a time of retreat, of fellowship, of healing. I felt God speaking to me in so many personal ways over the course of the week: through song, through the lessons, through personal Bible study and meditation, through prayer, through my connection group, through personal time with a counselor. If I could write down one thing that I took away from this conference, sounding so simple and trite, but so profound in the depths of my soul, it would be "GRACE and PEACE." This phrase has been the prayer of my life and for the lives of other in the last few weeks.... Thank you to all those who worked so hard to make this conference happen, and to my amazing husband, who with such a gracious and loving attitude, held down the fort while I was gone. I hope the pictures express the rest... I tried to pick pictures mostly featuring myself, to spare any possible embarrassment on other's behalf :)


Pizza Hut pizza in the Sao Paolo airport... which I regreted the entire 4 hour bus ride later... but come to think of it... it was still worth it!


The beach... Need I say more???


Time for meditation and child's worship


Prayer and worship on the beach


Time to visit with and learn from some amazing women of God


Having my feet washed by my group leader, Becky Holton, someone I have looked up to for a very long time... such a humbling experience


Memories and time with precious teammates


The yummy food!


The skits during the luau party... I laughed so hard, I literally thought I was going to be sick!


The luau party the final night


My connection group

Goodbyes

I forget how hard the last few weeks and months are before you leave a place. It seems like everything in your normal everyday routine is in upheaval as you prepare to leave, and that the days are filled with lasts and goodbyes. Today, I had a formal tea party (something I usually do for my birthday every year, although this year it just didn't happen), as sort of a farewell activity for both myself and my teammate, Laura, whose family is flying out of Bolivia to return stateside in a mere 2 weeks. I asked everyone to bring something 'inspiring' that was related to friendship, saying goodbye, transition etc. One of my friends, Angie, wrote the following poem. You can find it on her website.


Tejidas
by @NGIE on OCTOBER 19, 2010

Mamita de cara curtida

El aguayo en tu espalda

Sonríes aun cargada

Contenta con tu jornada

-

See the mountains that grow high above our heads

Bent down low to the earth the Bolivian woman is small

She lays the woven fabric on the ground

Then in those colored threads she lays her burdens

A fold, a twist, a swing and the thing she flings

Upon her sturdy back nestles on her shoulders

-

Tucked from view, hidden in the yarn

There in the dark a protected bit of her life

Precious baby, her wares or some goods

-

How does she face the monotony of the daily haul?

Does she fuss or complain

Trudging through market, street, bus and barrio?

-

Her cloth, el aguayo

Traditional weave, el tejido

Of coarse hairs of the herd

Of her land

-

See the looming mount standing in our path calling itself change

Bent down low to the earth I weep small prayers

Laid before me the fabric of my life, the people dear to me

Then in those diverse folds of humanity I lay my burdens

My love, my fears, my pains and joys, the things I fling

Upon my back made sturdy by living, I let it all settle in

-

Tucked from view, hidden in the threads

There in the dark a protected bit of life

Precious family, work or dear friends

-

How do I face the relentless change of the daily haul?

Do I fuss or complain

Labored steps crossing the street; crossing the world?

-

My cloth, el aguayo

Traditions woven, las tejidas

Coarse prayers are heard

Of clasped hands

-

You the red with the firey passion

You the blue with the calm reflection

You the green with the new ambition

You the yellow with the warm welcome

You the pink with the staying smile

You the black with the tenacious style

You the purple, happy through the trial

-

You are wrapped around me

Woven through me

-

The dust ground in the tiny overlaps of existence

Wetted by the rains and stayed by the wind

The strings stained permanent

A reminder that the only thing that doesn’t change

Is that things always change

-

I grasp for what I know, fingering the familiar knots

Holding on tight as my neck is choked by the haul

That familiar pain of strain in the bones pulls at the soul

-

The woman, the bearer

Bears in her womb posterity

Bears on her shoulders life

Borne in her heart the elation and devastation of love

-

The woman gratefully wraps the aguayo around her body

She knows it weighs her down

But its contents are the sustenance of life

-

So I embrace the changes before me

Or rather let them embrace my heaving frame

For these are the tejidas of life


Thanks for sharing, Angie.

Dia de Cochabamba

The girls had a typical Bolivian fair/market at their school today in honor of Dia de Cochabamba. They all dressed up in traditional Bolivian dress, like cholitas, and when we arrived, they were busy selling their wares. Eliana was selling potatos, Jana helped to sell bread, and Michaela was in charge of selling jello. It sure was fun and yummy food too: buñuelos, api, sopa de maní, salteñas, sandwiches de chorizo, pasteles, fresh fruit. This is the fun part of being missionaries and raising missionary kids!

Transition

This blog has been brewing in the back of my mind for the last couple months now... although I've been thankful for the time to think and pray about it before I actually had to sit down and write it. I have decided that I dislike change. I am a creature of routine and of habit. And so I have resisted writing this blog, although I knew the day was coming when I would have to, because it made it seem so real and permanent.

A couple months ago Josh and I made one of the hardest decisions we have ever had to make. We made the decision to leave Cochabamba and the work here at the end of our five year commitment in December and move to a different calling and mission in Quito, Ecuador. A variety of factors influenced our decision, but the bottom line is that, after a lot of prayer and deliberation and consultation and even tears, we feel God's strong leading away from this place and into a new ministry.

Josh will be moving into a role of working with national teams that form at the EQUEB School of Biblical Studies and their US sponsoring churches as they go out to establish new church plants across the country of Ecuador and into other parts of Latin America. We will also be working directly with a fairly new church plant right outside of Quito on a regular basis. Josh is excited about the possibilities of this new work and looking forward to streamlining his doctoral studies to fit this work as well. We are thankful as well that this will be moving us closer to Josh's family as both his parents and his sister's family is working in Ecuador. And it will give us the opportunity to maintain contact here, as we will be making a yearly visit to Bolivia to visit some of the church plants here.

It is amazing how invested you can become in a place, in a people, in a ministry in 5 short and long years. I remember saying in one of my previous blogs that it feels we have lived a lifetime here. So true... a lifetime of joys and struggles, birth and death, work and play. We are so thankful that God saw fit to call us here, to teach us and mold us and use us in spite of ourselves. We have had the privilege of working with some great teammates, true servants of God, and although we have had our differences, we are thankful that we are leaving behind such quality people to continue working in his kingdom here. We have been blessed to see God transform the lives of many brothers and sisters... to see a church start from square one and grow to a vibrant body of believers seeking his will. It has been the hardest decision in our life to leave because we feel so connected to the work and the people. But God works in mysterious ways, and in causing us to make this decision, He has taught us again that this work is not about us... it is about Him... we are merely tools in His hand to be used as He sees fit. And although part of us wishes we could stay here and see the milestones the church has yet to accomplish, the other part knows we would rather be in the center of God's will for our lives. He is the One who will continue this work... who will raise up this people to be His own... He is the One who has done it from the beginning. He has taught us again about trust in his Lordship, about my fallacy to depend on earthly things, and about turning everything over into His control.

This last week has been an emotional one, as we have shared with the church our plans to move. And yet we are thankful for their spiritual vision. They say they will be sad to see us go, but confident that God will continue to work here as well as in our lives. We have the same confidence as well. We have felt affirmed on many levels in our decision, but the reality of making it happen the last week has been hard. The reality of informing people we love of our plans to leave, the reality of thinking about packing and moving... of leaving our home, the only home and life the girls have ever really known. I have shed a lot of tears in the last couple months, and I'm sure I have bucket loads more to cry.

As we think about our last few months in this place, I find myself clinging to a straw of wisdom that has stayed with me since my highschool days... a senior seminar on reentry with TCK guru Dave Polluck. He talked about building your RAFT as you get ready to leave. RAFT consisting of.... Reconciliation, Affirmation, Farewells, and Thinking ahead. These next few months we would appreciate your prayers as we attempt to make this transition in as healthy and gracious a way as possible. We would appreciate your prayers for the church and the team as they face many transitions as well, that they would stay focused and grounded in Christ and continue the good work. We would appreciate your prayers for our family as we uproot ourselves and make this daunting international move and as we seek financial support for this new calling in Ecuador. And we thank you for your consistent prayers and support of our family over the last 5 years. We couldn't have been here doing what we are doing without your love and prayers. And we pray that you would continue both as we transition into this new calling.

Update on the Work in Coch.

Our teammate, Jeff Forbess, just posted a fabulous newsy blog (http://highlanderhighlights.blogspot.com/) updating everyone on the work in Cochabamba this summer. Thanks, Jeff, for keeping us in the loop!

Brownwood in Word Pictures

We have been in Brownwood now for 2 weeks and leave tomorrow for our long trek back to Michigan, via Memphis. I realized tonight that I have been a terrible picture taker the last 2 weeks, with no grandparents' cameras to back me up, so I decided to give you a taste of Brownwood in 'word pictures.' Here's some of the things we've enjoyed the last 2 weeks.

-Hot sun, chlorine and sunscreen, and cool water with Ruthie and the Chessers
-Watching the girls feed and chase the goats at the Washburns
-Steak 4 times!!!
-yummy church potlucks and fellowship
-taking the kids to the eye doctor for the first time
-playing with Mr. Potato Head's at the Ruizes
-watching the girls laugh and jump on the trampoline all together (first time they've ever enjoyed jumping together) at the Benton's
-watching Michaela and Mark play in the pool together
-petting the goats and donkeys at the Rogers
-poor Jana's feet getting blistered up by fire ants
-watching Jana put away 4 helpings of mac and cheese every other meal
-chocolate milkshakes at Doc's drugstore
-Eliana feeding a cow 'cake' on Bill and Charlotte's ranch
-homemade peach icecream at the Pursch's
-watching Jana get loved on by Shnitzel the dog
-watching Michaela make friends wherever she goes... on any playground... within 30 seconds
-the kids playing cops on the playground outside of church with the Lykes kids
-watching the kids enjoy Bible class so much
-walking up to our old apartment here in Brownwood and remembering Michaela as a little bitty baby
-movie in bed with my husband
-donuts and coffee with Billie
-a play date and chitchat with Melanie and James
-hearing a couple of great marriage classes
-a comfortable and spacious place to stay!
-a trip to Abilene to see my brother and Janille's sweet, newly-wed apartment and taking them out to Abuelo's
-a trip to Mardel's

It's been a wonderful stay, Brownwood! We love you all! Thanks and see you soon!

The Farm

After Hot Springs, we drove over to Oklahoma. Josh's grandad has a ranch near Lawton, and Josh's folks just bought a doublewide trailer home to be installed on the land too. They were hoping to have it all set up by the time we got there, but had some last minute problems with the water pipes... so we had to 'rough' it without water for a couple days. At least we had air-conditioning, because it was hot! We enjoyed doing all the fun things you do on a farm...swimming in the creek (which was full because of all the rain they've had!), jumping on hay bales, picnics. And we were able to celebrate Josh's parents 34th anniversary with them! We went to see Toy Story 3 and out to eat... and ended the day with an unexpected show of fireworks (which I was super excited about seeing as we missed out on seeing them on the 4th.) We had a great time and pray Nana and Papa's new US home (which they'll live in 6 months out of the year... the other 6 will be in Ecuador) will be filled with lots of happy memories.