Giving it to God

Lately, I've been wondering what God is trying to teach me through all the struggles of the last few months. And I think that over the last couple days, the lesson has been driven home in a way that I don't think I have ever understood before...

Thursday night, Michaela started vomiting, and Friday morning started running a fever. I called our doctor, and he thought it was probably some kind of flu virus and gave me some medicines to give her to help with the vomiting. Friday night I was nursing Eliana and putting her to sleep when all of a sudden I heard Josh yelling my name. I rushed out of the room to find him holding Michaela. She was convulsing and then went limp. I have never been so afraid in my life! We immediately rushed out the door and to the car, me calling our pediatrician on the way. I tossed Eliana in her car seat and took Michaela from Josh. He drove like a crazy man from our house to the closest, most reliable clinic - honking, passing cars, hopping curbs, running red lights. And as I was sitting there holding the limp, unconcious body of our Michaela, all I could do was say "Oh, God, please", and keep trying to get her to respond to something - at least she was breathing. I have never felt so helpless before - and Josh kept saying "She's in His hands, Julie." She finally threw up all over me in the car, and that seemed to help her.

We got to the hospital, and rushed her to the emergency room, where she started crying. Our pediatrician arrived shortly afterward - I have never been so happy so see someone in my life! We thought maybe she had an allergic reaction to the medicine, or possibly had hit her head (now we think she fell when she had the seizure, when Josh picked her up at the beginning, he thought the fall triggered the seizure). But Dr. Monroy was almost positive it was a febrile seizure - one related to the fever she had been running.

They put her on an IV, and we stayed overnight for them to monitor her and run some lab work - thankfully, the lab work all came back negative for bacteria (the doctor would have run some more tests for meningitis if it had come back positive), and her electrolytes were fine, which made him sure that it was a virus.

We got home yesterday afternoon, and she's on some meds for the fever, vomiting and an anti-seizure. Her stomach is still bothering her, and she is just really fussy and wants to be held all the time - but she's alive! and talking!

Again, I just wonder what God is trying to teach us through all of this - in my earlier blog, I talked about His sovereignty and I think that's part of it. But I think more than that, He just wants me to give everything to him - knowing it's not my strength, but His.

Josh's swollen lymphnodes - Give it to God.

Stomach viruses and amoebas and colds and strep throat- Give it to God.

Daily frustrations of living in Bolivia - Give it to God.

Surprise! Third baby is on the way! - Give it to God.

Yes, even the lives of your children - Give it to God.

"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens." Ps. 68:24