Piggybacking off my last post: every child is different - even out of the womb. As much as our 3 girls look alike - they all looked very different to me. There were differences in how they wanted to be carried (Eliana wanted to be carried facing forward), how they went to sleep (Michaela loved to be swaddled), eating habits. And Jana has her own set of preferences. Lately, much to my dismay, she's been refusing to nurse. She wants the bottle!
With Eliana, I shot myself in the foot because I didn't make her take a bottle from an early age - and she never did take one, and the switch over to a sippy cup was a battle. With Jana, I have pushed both the pacifier and the bottle (for my ease, and also because of the fact that we'll be traveling so much this summer). And I think that's part of the reason she has decided she likes the bottle better.
But I also think my body is tired after 3 pregnancies in 3 years and I'm not producing the milk she needs. I noticed a change in sleeping habits - waking up more frequently. And then the other day Jana wouldn't (or couldn't) nurse and cried and cried. I finally mixed some formula for the first time and the poor kid drank it like she was starving. Since then, I've had to give her at least one bottle a day.
I'm one of those moms who really enjoys nursing, which has been the hardest part of all this. I enjoy the physical closeness, the knowledge that my milk is best... and let's get real, the fact that it's only something mommy can do - at this age, I'm everything to my baby. And that's where the pride part comes in. I like being able to tell a Bolivian that my baby nurses (most assume if you're rich that you automatcially will have a c-section and give formula). Pride.
But the reality is - I can't be it all for my children. That's where His all-sufficiency comes in. He is everything to me - and I have to turn over everything to Him, even my children.
I thank God I live in a day and place and am on a salary where I can buy formula for my baby. I know she will be healthy. And so I cried about it some, and then gave it over to God - asking Him to be it all for me - and for my baby.
May His all-sufficiency be obvious in your life as well.
3 comments:
Your vulnerability and openness is admirable. Isn't it wonderful when God speaks to us through our children, no matter how tiny they are? Precious!
Julie,
Thank you for sharing something so personal. I completely understand and I'm going through the same situation. Reese is 3 1/2, Adelyn 2 and Hayden is now 6 months. Adelyn never took a bottle or passy. I wanted Hayden to be able to take a bottle and little did I know that he would like it more than me. So we are supplementing formula and nursing. It's been humbling and praise God for formula. I'll keep you in my prayers. Give all those precious girls a big hug from us and we can't wait to see you in Estes. Much love, Vanessa
Hi, Julie -- Sorry I missed your call again on Saturday. :( I am praying for you as you get ready for furlough. I know it is a stressful time and compounded by the troubles with breastfeeding. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and the lessons you are learning. I love you.
Post a Comment